While at the lake in Coeur D’Alene I was rocking a great almost 8 month belly in a bikini.
We played for a long long time in 100 degree weather when all of the sudden I feel an unfamiliar snap. No not my water it was the bikini top that decided it could no longer support my pregnant curves one minute longer. I hold it together and calmly tell Angela and Anna that I am going to need a bit of help. My bikini top es muerte. Shrieks of laughter ensue. I then tell Anna, who is a nurse, to help me get my shirt on to cover myself. So much laughter is inviting prying eyes of the million or so other beachgoers. Anna slops the shirt upside down on me. I inform my sister that what she did was not helping me. She then helped me get my one arm in then there was so much struggling and bam my left breast felt the breeze. Anna screams and so do I inviting anyone not already watching to join in the fun. To add a final nail in the already awesome day, I hear my nine year old niece yell from the water, “I saw that!” She runs in and says she saw my big nipples. I said, “oh goodness I know they are brown too like a pancake but don’t worry they will turn pink again after the baby is born”. Oh my too much information on my anatomy. Then I remember Laina is darker than me and she looks at me quizzically and says, “your nipples are pink normally.” I was ready for some calgon to take me away. Did I mention that we stayed there another 2 hours? I was practically a celebrity.
When it was time to leave after all the hullabaloo and heat I was looking forward to a quick exit. Of course, you can’t always get what you want. My oldest Xander cam out of the water after several hours, was messing with his swim trunks. It got to be a little obscene. Suddenly, his face went from calm to panic mode in 14 seconds. I told him to quit it right now. He said, “I can’t it hurts!”..... I said, “Where does it hurt?” More embarrassing and graphic tugging. He looks down his trunks and I can only describe his face as that of the kid in stand by me when he has the leach on his balls. He screams, “Its stuck! Help mom!!!” Deep breaths. “Ok let me see”. Xander- “Ohh!!!!! I got it........ its all red!!” This is then followed by ten minutes of him showing me his penis and testicles on a public beach. Apparently it got stuck in a hole in the netting of his trunks. The water was very cold and when the warm water rehydrated his male parts it got very stuck. He said it felt like it was close to being amputated. On his behalf it was very red.
Now I have 3 more days with 6 kids so a new post is almost certainly in my future.
